So part of navigating this… whatever the fuck we are, is
having sometimes uncomfortable conversations. But, of course, all adult-like
and with trust and mutual respect. Right? Riiiiight.
K and I haven’t really had too many awkward conversations
where one of us has just been plain pissed-off (other than when I brought that
tall blonde guy home on his birthday) and so we aren’t too used to seeing each
other angry. BUT (or should I say “and” K, you sonofawhore) however, in contrast, sometimes shit gets said and I get mad. Like at the
airport.
Well, we’ve already had multiple rational and all adult-like
conversations about whatever the fuck we’re doing (still not an exact science)
and have both definitely agreed that we want to be open and bring others into
our relationship from time to time. We’ve had a couple of trials and errors
(see other posts, such as “Feeeel de Oni” coming soon) and those have been more
about sex than any other thing. In my mind, I can fairly easily separate sex
from my emotions. Yeah yeah I know what you are thinking, and I’ve thought it
too and that’s not to say that I haven’t become emotionally attached to
fuck-buddies in the past. But I’ve matured. Now when finding someone I want to
use for sex, I go completely on a physical level. The shallowest possible. The
less they think, the better. Just so long as they’ve got a great body and can
follow directions. Or if they have a sweet car I can drive, or connections to a
great bar or something. Anyways, I guess when we’ve had our talks about
whatever the fuck we’re doing, I’ve always kinda assumed that K was looking to
bring in others pretty much just for sex too. And just on a sexual basis. So, I
felt pretty blindsided when, while vacationing and having THE BEST TIME EVER,
he casually rolls over in bed and says, “I want to date a second woman.”
Ok, fine. Not immediately mad. Assumptions should never be
made when trying to navigate whatever the fuck this is. I ask “oh? Did you meet
someone?” His answer “No.” “Okayyy, well lets just cross that bridge when it
comes, shall we?” And that was the extent. Two days later and it’s still
simmering. And we are at the airport. I’m a bad flyer, it’s fair to mention.
Like, I HATE flying. It’s not so much THAT FUCKING LIAM NEESON MOVIE WITH THE
WOLVES, but it’s more that I have a fear of spending all that time going
through the level of hell that is airport security and then realizing that I’ve
forgotten some crucial thing and I CANT TURN BACK. I forgot about that roach in
my purse, etc etc. And the hours of boredom, waiting, and line standing
carrying heavy fucking bags. So, two days later, airporty-ness sinking in, and
I begin to turn over and identify Two Words that fucking pissed me off in that
sentence: Date and Second. The context was absolutely horrid as well, which
also pisses me off. Mind made up, I’m pissed off.
Nothing worse than trying to be all angry-pants at your
significant other and then being shoved onto an air-born tin-can with said
other for the duration of a flight. When in a coach middle seat on a budget
airline, I want to hate the people sitting next to me anyways, just simply for
being there and smelling weird and taking my GODDAMN ARMREST! So, when
‘trapped’ on a plane with someone you are already trying to send hate-rays at
(baby I don’t really hate you, it’s just better writing) shit gets kinda
intense.
Airplane. Emergency exit row. Middle seat. Put-on seatbelt
light ON, remain seated. No moving about the cabin. And he’s dumbfounded and
I’m mad. And I’m a crier when I get mad, which just sucks for the other person,
not to mention that I really can’t get my point across. Which makes me
frustrated. It wasn’t at all the idea of bringing in a third, it was more the
unclarity of purpose. Did I overreact? Perhaps. But we agree that is much
better than non-reacting. It’s not like I started screaming or anything. Not
even close. I just was pissed off at this abstract concept of bringing in
another woman, a Second girlfriend, to Date. Who DOESN’T EXIST.
Some of you may be wondering, “but isn’t it better that there is no second
woman?” Maybe it is in whatever the fuck you
are doing, but not for me. If there is an actual woman, she is a person. I can
see her, know her, borrow her clothes and potentially shoes. But if there is in
fact no woman but the woman of imagination, well there is no gauge with an
imaginary woman. She is perfect, the imaginary woman, this Second woman he
wants to Date. (Yes, I’m more jealous of fictional than physical, absolutely.)
She is not a person. So, I am terrified. Which equals 300000 miles in the air
and us pissed off at each other and crammed into little seats hurtling towards
the ground.
We land. We’ve discussed our anger. But the energy is still
there. Bathroom? Ahh, even better: mommy and baby changing room. Yeah, he bent
me over that changing counter and then threw me against the mirrored walls. So
that happened. We felt our feelings, expressed them as best we could, and then
fucked in the airport.
And what’s with all those Desigual black-face ads all over
the place?
Update: We are assholes. H suggested posting our FB dialogue will be the easiest way to communicate our assholio-ness.
K hm, didn't i publish your blackface blog?
H I don't know
I wanted a pic of that damn ad to accompany at the end
K ok. no worries. just wondering if blogger removed it...
or if i never actually posted it.
Damn them
H Try again?
K am
H Also, noticed that you've outed our position... Blogspot.com.es
Dot. E. S.
paña
K can't help it. auto corrects.
i published as .com
H Fucking
Balls
You mean if I want to have privacy on the Internet then I can't post stuff??
On the Internet?
K heh
maybe we can post on facebook and mark it private. (;
H PS: playlist is meant to go on your personal blog
And title should be: "NOW that's some fucking bad music, volume 28"
Here's a cat eating noodles
K ohhhhh. i don't want the public to know i get stoned. i'll fight for sex, but not sex and drugs.
oops. she HAS that MJ skin disease...
H Haha well it says stoned in the opening
Noooo! Nu uh! Get out!!!
Shut up
K yeah....
H Noooo
No way!
Hahahajahaha ha
K will be editing the blog shortly....
H Hahahahaahhashhaaha
Don't edit, just add on a comment
That we are assholes
Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa
like it.
Cat in a pizza box eating pizza
Hahahahahahaa fuuuuck
In fact, just publish the contents of this chat
That's the most entertaining way we can show that mistake
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